American-style:
CLASSIC VERSION:
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The grasshopper has no food or shelter so he dies out in the cold.
MORAL OF THE STORY: Be responsible for yourself!
UPDATED VERSION:
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others are cold and starving.
CBS, NBC, and ABC show up to provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food. America is stunned by the sharp contrast. How can this be, that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so? Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper and everybody cries when they sing "It's Not Easy Being Green." Jesse Jackson stages a demonstration in front of the ant's house where the news stations film the group singing "We Shall Overcome". Jesse then has the group kneel down to pray to God for the grasshopper's sake.
Al Gore exclaims in an interview with Peter Jennings that the ant has gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper, and calls for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his "fair share." Finally, the EEOC drafts the "Economic Equity and Anti-Grasshopper Act," retroactive to the beginning of the summer. The ant is fined for failing to hire a proportionate number of green bugs and, having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the government.
Hillary gets her old law firm to represent the grasshopper in a defamation suit against the ant, and the case is tried before a panel of federal judges that Bill appointed from a list of single-parent welfare recipients. The ant loses the case. The story ends as we see the grasshopper finishing up the last bits of the ant's food while the government house he is in, which just happens to be the ant's old house, crumbles around him because he doesn't maintain it.
The ant has disappeared in the snow. The grasshopper is found dead in a drug related incident and the house, now abandoned, is taken over by a gang of spiders who terrorize the once peaceful neighborhood.
MORAL OF THE STORY: Vote Republican.
A friend of mine sent me this, but it had no source. I'd love to know who wrote it.
and have encountered the same bigotry expressed here by Willy Stern:
The sad fact of the matter is that many progressive Democrats are intolerant and mean toward those with whom they disagree politically. Their behavior doesn't hurt so much as amuse. I've been sitting at their dinner parties for two decades now, sipping Chardonnay, munching on salmon steaks, and listening to self-professed progressive thinkers talk like bigots. It makes me chuckle to think that, on average, even here in the mid-South, I probably hear 10 bigoted comments about Republicans for each time I am exposed to the "n" word. To be sure, some perspective is needed. Clearly, the many minorities in Nashville and elsewhere whose lives are daily and cruelly affected by bigotry have it worse than your average golf-playing Republican.
The profile of people who use the term "Republican" in a bigoted fashion tends to be fairly straightforward: Educated, intellectually gifted and generally thoughtful in their speech. They are the very people I sat next to in newsrooms in New York, Chicago, Tokyo and Johannesburg. They are my friends and neighbors. They are academics, lawyers, bankers and stay-at-home moms -decent, kind and sensitive people, for the most part.
But they are, and remain bigots. . . .
In short, the justification for bigoted comments directed at those with whom the educated Left disagrees politically is based on two foundations: 1) We're a lot smarter than they are; and 2) We're better people than they are. That logic leads to three inescapable conclusions: We're right. They're wrong. QED: All Republicans are assholes.
Well said. The entire column is worth a look. (Via Instapundit)
A cute quiz, sent by my friend Jane.
1. LIVING ARRANGEMENTS?
One husband, two kids, one slightly neurotic dog and way, way too much stuff.
2. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW?
Bar/Bri Wisconsin. Mmmmmm. It's a cliffhanger.
3. WHAT'S ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?
Funky swirls.
4. YOUR FAVORITE MAGAZINES?
Real Simple, Christianity Today, Newsweek.
5. FAVORITE SMELL?
Roses.
6. LEAST FAVORITE SMELL?
Anything emanating (sp?) from humans.
7. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE AND FOREMOST PEACE AND QUIET
PLACE?
In my office (how sick is that).
8. FAVORITE SOUND?
Jake, Luke or Eric saying I love you.
9. WORST FEELING IN THE WORLD?
Watching loved ones in pain knowing sometimes you've got to let them suffer.
10. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU THINK OF WHEN YOU WAKE
UP IN THE MORNING?
Am I late?
11. HOW MANY RINGS BEFORE YOU ANSWER THE PHONE?
Depends on if I can find the phone. Usually 3, but I reserve the right to use the answering machine as needed.
12. NAME OF FUTURE CHILD?
All done, although Jill & Jane would have been nice girl names.
13. Two MOST IMPORTANT THINGS IN LIFE?
God & Family.
14. FAVORITE FOOD?
Oh, just way too many. I love to eat.
15. CHOCOLATE OR Vanilla Ice Cream?
Chocolate.
16. DO YOU LIKE TO DRIVE FAST?
No. I drive like a granny now.
17. DO YOU SLEEP WITH A STUFFED ANIMAL?
No.
18. WHAT TYPE WAS YOUR FIRST CAR?
A 1976 silver Chevrolet Malibu Classic with a 350-horsepower engine. I called her "The Beast".
19. ULTIMATE CAR?
Hummer M2
20. IF YOU COULD MEET ANYONE DEAD OR ALIVE WHO WOULD
IT BE?
Jesus - would really like to clear up some ambiguities.
21. FAVORITE ALCOHOLIC DRINK?
Strawberry margarita.
22. WHAT IS YOUR ZODIAC SIGN?
The scales of justice, Libra. (Does this mean I was doomed to enter law?)
23. DO YOU EAT THE STEMS OF BROCCOLI?
You're supposed to eat those?
24. IF YOU COULD HAVE ANY JOB YOU WANTED WHAT WOULD IT
BE?
Editor at Vogue.
25. EVER BEEN IN LOVE?
Still am.
26. IS THE GLASS HALF EMPTY OR HALF FULL?
Depends on what's in the glass
27. FAVORITE MOVIE?
The Empire Strikes Back
28. DO YOU TYPE WITH YOUR FINGERS ON THE RIGHT KEYS?
Yes, because my parents made me take typing in high school, for which I am forever grateful.
29. WHAT'S UNDER YOUR BED?
Dust bunnies, stray socks, pictures without a wall to call their own.
30. FAVORITE NUMBERS?
Ummmm, Ummmm.
31. FAVORITE SPORT TO WATCH?
Baseball
An article worth reading about the new devious plot of the left by Jonathan Rauch of the National Journal- a sample:
That makes it about as clear as it could be that the first priority is not to disarm rogues but to defang America. It also makes clear that the Left is on the brink of a historical and fateful, and possibly also fatal, choice. The Left's idealism and anti-Americanism blinded it to the realities of Soviet Communism and put it on the wrong side of the Cold War. Now the Left is poised to repeat its mistake, letting its egalitarianism and anti-Americanism put it on the wrong side of the fight against tyranny and terror.
Far-fetched though the notion of a leftist "second superpower" might seem to a Washington establishmentarian, it is not necessarily pie in the sky. The passage in 1993 of the North American Free Trade Agreement was a tactical defeat for the Left, but it brought into being a far-flung and effective leftist anti-trade constituency. With the Iraq war, something analogous may be happening.
But the Left will pay a crippling price. If its new rallying cry is going to be "Contain America first!" the Left had better pack its bags for a long, long stay in the political wilderness, at least in America; and if it is going to make excuses for Saddam as it once made excuses for Stalin, it can kiss its moral relevance goodbye. One only wonders whether the Left still has time to back away from the cliff.
Via Instapundit.
Have a nice trip to the Wilderness. Send postcards. . . . .
I love this portion of an opinion from a federal judge in the Eastern District of Pennsylvania:
"We also note that being blonde is not a protected group under Title VII," Joyner [ed. the judge] wrote.
Joyner said Kushnerick's [ed. the defendant's] alleged comments "may be considered too personal in the professional working context as well as immature teasing or taunting, however, they do not rise to a level that constitutes a hostile work environment."
Via Yahoo.
Full disclosure: I'm a brunette.
Would I be a good mother if I didn't share some cute things my three-year old says? I think not. A sampling:
"the soft stairs" = the ones with carpet (or "parpet")
"mommy, I won you" when he wins a race
dotdog = hotdog
nakie = naked.
More later . . . .
My Bar/Bri self-study bar review materials came in today. Thirty pounds. Seventy-seven (77) sixty-hour CDs. Seven volumes of black letter law and practice tests. Sixty-six days until the exam. I think I'm going to faint.
on time, no less:
1. What brand of toothpaste do you use? Crest
2. What brand of toilet paper do you prefer? Quilted Northern (does anybody really want to know this about anyone)
3. What brand(s) of shoes do you wear? Franco Sarto, BCBG, Keds, Ralph Lauren
4. What brand of soda do you drink? Diet Coke
5. What brand of gum do you chew? Don't chew gum - it gives me a headache.
on Sunday, home again at last.
1. What drinking water do you prefer -- tap, bottle, purifier, etc.? My absolute favorite water is tap water from Hibbing, Minnesota. It comes out of the tap cold, clear and tasty. It's how I imagine water is supposed to taste. It's so good that one of the neighboring small towns actually bottles their tap water and sells it.
2. What are your favorite flavor of chips? Cool Ranch Doritos.
3. Of all the things you can cook, what dish do you like the most? Texas Sheet Cake
4. How do you have your eggs? Scrambled.
5. Who was the last person who cooked you a meal? How did it turn out? My friend Ragan made beef stew and salad for us when we moved two weeks ago. It was delicious.
Hot. Tired. Miserable. Expensive.
That about describes our day at Seaworld Texas in San Antonio. Let's recap some lessons we learned:
1. Really, just skip it. Let's ponder for a moment. We spent almost $300 getting four adults and three children (seven, three & three) in and then roasted in the 100-degree plus heat. Yes, Shamu is cool. Yes, touching the dolphins is cool. But worth a 1200 mile trip and gut-wrenching heat - absolutely not.
2. Parents, listen up: Do. Not. Bring. Children. Under. Seven. Period. Don't. Every child (mine included) under the age of seven at that park was hot, miserable and tired. Repeat: Hot, miserable and tired. Unhappy children everywhere. If your child can't read, he or she is too young for amusement parks. If you want to go, fine, leave your kids with grandma and knock yourself out, but don't torture the small children.
3. Parents, listen up again: Do. Not. Bring. Grandparents. We almost lost my mom (who is only in her fifties and healthy) to heatstroke and my father (who loves heat), was miserable. Amusement parks are for the young (but not too young, see #2).
4. Sunscreen and hats. Just do it.
5. Water, water, water. Drink it.
6. If you sit at the front of the shows, you will get soaked. You have been warned, so do not complain.
7. If you foolishly decide to go after I've warned you otherwise, don't go in May. You will be in School Field Trip Hell. Thousands of children from elementary school through high school wearing identical t-shirts and paying for everything one at a time with small bills. Why these children are spending school time at Seaworld is beyond me. At least some of the schools made the kids fill out worksheets.
8. Bring your cellphones so you can find each other.
9. Seaworld San Antonio is in the Middle of Nowhere. There is nothing out here but two hotels and a McDonalds. No food, no shopping. Nothing. It's grim.
10. Again, just don't go. Trust me, your children will lead full and happy lives without amusement park experiences. On this my husband and I disagree. He's been itching to get our kids into parks since birth. I have kicked & screamed the whole way. Now, in fairness, my seven year-old loves roller coasters and had a blast at Seaworld today. But did he need it? No. Does it make him a better person? Doubtful. Would he become a productive member of society without roller coasters. Absolutely.
Now, for some positive comments (OK, mostly positive).
1. I'm not an animal person at all, but even I was struck by how much the trainers love those animals. You can see it from any distance and it is touching.
2. The animals are majestic and amazing, but you're are seeing them at a few shows and that's it. If you go to Seaworld thinking you're going to a zoo experience, think again. It's mostly shows with a few exhibits and some rides and a waterpark.
3. The park was clean.
4. The staff was very friendly and helpful, if a little slow.
5. The Anhauser-Busch people - who own all the Seaworlds - seem genuinely concerned for the welfare of the animals and for sea creature research. Since I'm a big fan of private initiative, I like to think that this sort of corporate sponsorship of animal research, even though linked to entertainment, is a Good Thing.
You've been warned.
on Tuesday, from Austin, Texas.
. Would you consider yourself an organized person? Why or why not? Organized yes, but unable to establish a routine. I've discovered that a routine is actually more important than being organized. You can beautifully arrange your drawers, calender and kitchen cabinets, but if you don't have a schedule to keep it up, it will turn to chaos again quickly. I'm using Flylady to try and establish some routine in my life.
2. Do you keep some type of planner, organizer, calendar, etc. with you, and do you use it regularly? I use my Handspring/Palm organizer, but mostly on my computer. I must see the calender in month view or it doesn't register well in my little head.
3. Would you say that your desk is organized right now? Absolute chaos - we just moved into temporary housing and my temporary desk is a disaster.
4. Do you alphabetize CDs, books, and DVDs, or does it not matter? Uh, no.
5. What's the hardest thing you've ever had to organize? My work life. Never did get it organized well.
sucks. Excuse my vulgar language, but it does. In my younger days, I loved it. Fifteen years of marriage, two kids and way too much stuff later, it's not so much fun. But, we're in the temporary house and counting the days until the owners of our "final" house move out. In the meantime, I'll hang out here with about 1/5 of my belongings and study for the Wisconsin Bar Exam.
Warning, grumpy post coming:
I am licensed to practice in two states (TX, MN); I worked for the second largest law firm in the country (Jones Day) and did really well; my friends are all sitting in corner offices; I am thirtysomething years old; and. I. have. to. take. the. bar. Not. amused.
What's worse is that Wisconsin is the only state in the Union that doesn't require it's law grads to take the bar exam. So, it's only us losers (excuse the bad grammar) that come from other states that have to sit for the bar. Now, I understand the reasoning behind the policy (um, all Wisconsin law school grads would flee to Chicago and all Chicago lawyers would take over Wisconsin law if Wisconsin made them take the bar), but it's still annoying. I just want to practice pro bono from home. Oh well.
Also, another of Debbie's Black Letter Laws: The smaller the state, the harsher the requirements to practice law there. Trust me on this.
Oh sure, now law schools admit the obvious - uh - one final at the end of the semester is not the best way to test legal knowledge mastery. Well, yeah, any first year law student could have told you that. When I took my criminal law final during my first semester of law school, I realized about ten minutes before time was up that I had misread one of the questions. So, my answer was the exact opposite of the right answer. The color drained from my face, I went limp and I literally sat for sixty seconds deciding whether I should just quit law school now or try and salvage the exam. I salvaged the exam by going through the essay and literally adding "not" every other sentence. I was convinced I had failed the test. Convinced.
It was my highest grade and one of the highest grades in the class. I was so shocked that I went to the professor the next semester and told him what had transpired. He was horrified that I had considered, even briefly, quitting law school over his exam. (And what rarified air was he breathing?) Lesson learned: the worse you did on a law school exam, the better you did and vice versa. Black letter law for exams, trust me.
This does not make me happy given that I'm taking the MBE this July. Of course, the problem with the MBE is that there are often several "correct" answers so maybe the test wasn't misgraded, the testers just realized, oops, we really have been putting more than one right answer on there all along.
We're moving this week. What's worse is that we're moving into one house for about 2.5 months before we move into what best be the last house I live in before I'm carted off to the retirement home. So, 80% of my wordly possessions are going to storage and the rest will follow me to my temporary home. So, for all three of you reading (hi again mom!), posting will be sporadic at best.
I just returned from the famed Wrigley Field where I watched the Cubs play the Colorado Rockies from the first row between first and home base. Amazing seats. I could have reached out & touched Sammy Sosa's backside, had I wished to spend the night in jail, I was so close. But, since I had three young boys with me I thought that would be a bad idea. Baseball is the only professional sport I really enjoy watching and these were dream seats. I "bought" the tickets at a charity auction. If I ever figure out how to use my FTP program to upload pictures, I will share the fabulous pics of Sammy's backside that I took to treasure.
Sadly, I was with young boys and it was chilly, so we didn't make it through the entire game. I didn't think we would, but I was disappointed just the same. And apparently, I was offensive too. As I was leaving, the gentleman seated in the seats next to ours started yelling at me with a perfect Chicago accent - "Hey lady - where are you going? You can't leave early! Where are you going? You can't leave the game early" To avoid a scene (OK, more of a scene), I turned around, smiled graciously and said "Oh, we'll be back". Lie, lie, lie. Ahhhh, Cubs' fans. Oh, and the Cubs won in overtime, 5-4.
are, as a general rule, nasty. The ones at Wendy's have gotten good press, but I think they're gross. So it was with much trepidation that I ordered a new "Premium" salad at McDonalds. I ordered the Bacon Ranch Salad with crispy chicken. It comes with Newman's Ranch Dressing. It was not bad, not bad at all. Actual green lettuce. Dressing not drowning in sugar. Edible chicken and bacon and tomatoes. Shocking, but it was tasty! Go figure.
the Friday Five today. It's all about songs and I'm just not that into music.
One of the many reasons I love James Lileks is that he's an Apple Person. You are or you are not. We're a small, persnickety lot, yes, but our Computer. Is. Better. To wit:
Oh, now, WAIT A MINUTE. From Instapundit:
LILEKS has discovered the dirty secret: blogging is a lot easier than column-writing.
He's also having trouble with video editing. That, you see, is because he's using a user-unfriendly Mac. I set up Vegas Video 4 from Sonic Foundry, got the backup master for my wife's documentary, captured the clips I wanted, and produced a trailer that Ken Layne says has "an X-Files/Twin Peaks feel." All in a weekend. The interface is easy and intuitive, and the program doesn't crash. And it edits in uncompressed mode, which is a Good Thing.
You realize, of course, that this means WOH! Slam my words all you like, but keep your mocking tone of voice away from my choice of platform, because I am a thin-skinned fool who cannot help but snap haplessly at the dangled bait. I wrote what I wrote because I wanted to spare the world the dry specifics, but hey: You want specifics? I'll give you specifics.
The program I previously used was iMovie 2, which is fast, feature-packed, aimed at the novice, and free. Video Vegas 4 - which actually sounds like a porno-movie distributor's convention - costs $500. iMovie 2 costs $500 less. That's a savings of almost $501.
To help the novice, iMovie simplifies most common tasks and provides fewer options - you can change the length of a cross-dissolve, for example, but you can't control what happens inside the dissolve. Now I'm using Final Cut Express, which allows for much greater control. It's the difference between, say, a music program that gives you eight preset drum patterns, and a program that allows you to create whatever rhythms you need.
Got the backup master? Oh, we dreamed of the day we'd have a backup master, we did. If I'd just been using clips captured in FCE, I'd have had no problem - but I was using clips from three separate tapes captured in iMovie and FCE, and that's what confused me initially. See, iMovie clips are discrete chunks, which is nice, but FCE allows you to pull individual clips out of a big hunk of video. Clips from iMovie imported into FCE require in and out points before applying the transition - you have to snip a little from the front and back to give the program sufficient footage for the transition. Once I learned what was I was doing wrong - took a few minutes to find the answer on the Apple discussion boards - I applied 20 transitions, hit render, got some coffee, and by the time I got back to the studio the thing was done.
FCE costs about $200, incidentally.
I will note that VegasVideo has a DVD authoring program; the combo price is $700.
Apple's iDVD: $49.
IN! YOUR! FACE! INSTA! PUNDIT!
(endzone dance that frightens dog and fills child with the horrors that await in her teen years when Dad starts moving & grooving)
Thank you, Mr. Lileks. Back to your sad, pathetic Windows world, Mr. Reynolds.
I currently live in a small town. 25,000, give or take. I grew up in Dallas - anonymity central. Not so here and for that reason, I can't really blog about my daily life. Not that it's all that interesting, but it makes having a personal blog a little more difficult. My husband is a doctor in town, which makes it even more important that I watch what I write. In fact, I've thought about just stopping (sorry mom!), but I enjoy it so I won't. Maybe someday (after my house is paid off), I'll throw caution to the wind and share some of the oddities in my small town. All small towns have oddities. I know wierdness is multiplied exponentially in large cities, but you can hide there.
Should you find yourself going from urban to small, I suggest taking a look at this book -Small Town Bound- by John Clayton. If you're only familiar with large urban areas, this book will be an eye-opener.
Don't get me wrong, I like living in small town. I could not recreate our life in a large town. I couldn't afford the house I just bought; I couldn't be on my son's school board; my husband could never recreate his job in the HMO and malpractice big city nightmare; the list goes on and on. Absolutely lovely people live here with whom I've developed wonderful friendships. But it's a small town and much baggage arrives on your doorstep in a small town. Just FYI.