American-style:
CLASSIC VERSION:
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The grasshopper has no food or shelter so he dies out in the cold.
MORAL OF THE STORY: Be responsible for yourself!
UPDATED VERSION:
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others are cold and starving.
CBS, NBC, and ABC show up to provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food. America is stunned by the sharp contrast. How can this be, that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so? Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper and everybody cries when they sing "It's Not Easy Being Green." Jesse Jackson stages a demonstration in front of the ant's house where the news stations film the group singing "We Shall Overcome". Jesse then has the group kneel down to pray to God for the grasshopper's sake.
Al Gore exclaims in an interview with Peter Jennings that the ant has gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper, and calls for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his "fair share." Finally, the EEOC drafts the "Economic Equity and Anti-Grasshopper Act," retroactive to the beginning of the summer. The ant is fined for failing to hire a proportionate number of green bugs and, having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the government.
Hillary gets her old law firm to represent the grasshopper in a defamation suit against the ant, and the case is tried before a panel of federal judges that Bill appointed from a list of single-parent welfare recipients. The ant loses the case. The story ends as we see the grasshopper finishing up the last bits of the ant's food while the government house he is in, which just happens to be the ant's old house, crumbles around him because he doesn't maintain it.
The ant has disappeared in the snow. The grasshopper is found dead in a drug related incident and the house, now abandoned, is taken over by a gang of spiders who terrorize the once peaceful neighborhood.
MORAL OF THE STORY: Vote Republican.
A friend of mine sent me this, but it had no source. I'd love to know who wrote it.
Posted by Lawmom at May 31, 2003 05:40 PMI'm pretty sure that it's taken almost verbatim from James Finn Garner's "Once Upon a More Enlightened Time: More Politically Correct Bedtime Stories." Highly entertaining reading, that one and the original "Politically Correct Bedtime Stories," both!
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I think I'll share it with some friends.
Thanx!
Hey great story, I like the moral. :)
Posted by: jake on July 14, 2003 08:39 AMGreat story..sad that it's true though!
Posted by: Nikki on August 7, 2003 09:20 AMI am a a born again Christian who admonishes other believers to avoid getting involved in people bashing as it serves to alienate many from the Good News. The grass hopper story contains some truths but also lacks love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance. Our Lord commnads us to seek souls for His kingdom not turn them off with political biases and complaints. Lets us who know His grace and glory remember that we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. Eph 6:12 His Grace is sufficient. Lee
Jesus said "to be saved you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind" If you are unable to do this - to be saved from the wrath to come- you must openly confess you have sinned against God, believe in your heart that Christ died for your trespasses, ask Him to save you and repent ( do a 180).
Here's another version: The grasshopper worked his butt off for ten years at a "good company," but his job didn't pay squat, so he couldn't lay up supplies, except for a few cans of Franco American. Then his greedhead CEO decided that come September, all grasshopper jobs should go to China, to improve the margins.
The grasshopper starts networking with everyone he can think of, sending resumes for promising positions, but it turns out everyone's in a hiring freeze or that the job's just been filled, so he exhausts his unemployment.
So now, the grasshopper's standing in front of the 7-11 with a cup and people walk by and spit on him for being a lazy good-for-nothing.
Moral: There but for the grace of one "outsourcing" go you.
Oh, but wait, you're better than that, you'd NEVER be unable to find a job, because your skills are exceptional. Think again. My husband (an electro-optics physicist) has been unemployed for 3 years, now.
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This fable was e-mailed to me. I found it amusing, but I updated and expanded it even further. Here is my update:
Present Day Version:
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others are cold and starving.
CBS, NBC, and ABC show up to provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food. The newspapers all claim that Americans are stunned by the sharp contrast between the well fed ant and starving grasshopper. How can this be, that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?
Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper, and everybody cries when they sing, "It's Not Easy Being Green." Jesse Jackson stages a demonstration in front of the ant's house where the news stations film the group singing, "We shall overcome." Jesse then has the group kneel down to pray to God for the grasshopper's sake.
Buried deep within the inner pages of a few newspapers across the nation, at the end of a remote article, the result of a poll showing that most Americans actually think the grasshopper should quit whining and take responsibility for himself is mentioned in an offhand manner. It goes unnoticed.
Tom Daschle & John Kerry exclaim in an interview with Peter Jennings that the ant has gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper, and both call for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his "fair share." Several ultra rich green bugs from Europe and Asia, who have enough money to take care of all the green bugs but won’t, instead donate to the Grasshopper Political Victory Fund to promote their agenda of governmentally sponsored equitable society. (Anyone calling this a “socialism” is a paranoid extremist right-wing radical.)
Several green bugs come forward and say they gathered food in the summer and worked hard and that they are now well fed in nice warm shelters too. They work in the fields right along side the ants and everyone gets along just fine. They are willing to help other green bugs do the same. But the ACLU quickly discredits them as betrayers of the green bugs, calls them “ant lovers,” and claims the ants paid them off on the side.
The ACLU gets a coalition of grasshoppers to demonstrate against the ants and against the government. Although the demonstration is basically a huge flop, failing to turn out the number of grasshoppers promised, let alone green bugs, the newspapers hail it as a victory for the little bug, and trump it up like the whole nation was rocked by this event. They interview over fifty bugs just to find two bugs out of the fifty who are outraged with the ants’ complacency. These two interviews are then played on thousands of TV and radio stations nationwide to convince everyone that everyone else is behind the grasshoppers cause and if you are not, then you are wrong.
Michael Moore films a documentary called “The Ant Underground: Undermining Grasshoppers.” He shows the ant tunnels and caverns where they store their enormous caches of food, and shows the big bad army ants with their huge and menacing mandibles protecting the food. Through a series of out of context images, rumors, hearsay, and fantastically shrewd though flimsy connections, he shows how they bully the spiders, coerce the fire flies, use the beetles, and ravage all the food, hiding it away in their caverns so the grasshoppers and green bugs can be destitute and starve.
He points out that there are no grasshoppers working in the tunnels. Never mind the fact that grasshoppers don’t fit into the tunnels and don’t really want to go into them. For the sake of exposing all that is wrong about the ant tunnels, Moore hides behind an artistic license which subtly asks his audience to suspend logic and reality for moment to assume grasshoppers have a right to ant tunnels.
Finally, the EEOC drafts the "Economic Equity and Grasshopper Rectification Act," retroactive to the beginning of the summer. The ant is fined and, having nothing left to pay enormous retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the government.
The grasshopper sues the ant in a defamation case. Kerry and Edwards get their old trial lawyer buddies to take up the case, and get it sent to a circuit court known to turn out favorable decisions for all the poor grasshoppers of the world against the ants of the world.
The ant loses the case and before winter is over, the ant disappears in the snow.
The grasshopper invites all his grasshopper buddies over for a big party. Hollywood stars are invited, Michael Moore, Kerry, Whoopi comes and makes jokes about the ants private parts, Kerry and Edwards go, the event is called a campaign event so it is funded and sponsored by the Grasshopper Political Victory Fund, and their lawyers find a way to allow the grasshopper to keep all his money and shelter it from taxes.
In a side note, Hillary, Feinstein, and Schumacher propose a bill making certain ant mandibles illegal, requiring a five week background check for the purchase of other limited mandibles, and requiring the purchase of mandatory mandible insurance which will serve as a “backdoor” method of registering all mandible owners. The National Mandible Association stands up to inform its members of these extreme mandible measures. The money made by the ant, confiscated by the government, and paid in settlement to the grasshopper, now finds its way into the hands of Mandible Control Groups and is used to fund the media blitz against mandibles.
By the end of winter, the grasshopper sits bloated, gleefully finishing up the last bits of the ant’s food. The government house he is in, which just happens to be the ant's old house, crumbles around him because he doesn't maintain it.
By spring, the grasshopper is found dead in a drug related incident. The house, now abandoned, is taken over by a gang of spiders who begin to spread their web of terror throughout the once peaceful neighborhood. A new crop of grasshoppers grows up and is waiting to laugh and dance and play the summer away.
And what is the moral of the story?
VOTE REPUBLICAN
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